Why is Self-Love So Important?
Self-love is such a popular term in many personal development and spiritual circle. You have probably heard the theory many times and in many ways – that we cannot really love another unless we can fully accept and love ourselves. Putting it into practise can be quite another thing, after all where do we start? Is it possible to feel more self-loving by getting a new hair-do, new partner or new wardrobe of clothes? I guess it works for some but for me when I am really doing it to love and nurture myself then the experience is very different from ticking a box in a self-love to-do-list! Self-love is a mind-set that generates a certain set of feel good factors that lead to different ways of perceiving and moving through the world. Self-love has to start somewhere so why not start right here and now!
How can I Introduce more Self-Love Into My Daily Life?
I am so glad you asked! Here is a seven-step program to do just that:
- Start being more aware... Of the feelings in your body – when you are feeling peaceful, centred, focused, happy etc. then you are thinking/doing self-love. When you are feeling stressed, unhappy, heavy, depressed etc. then you are not thinking/doing self-love. When you stop feeling ‘good’ just stop and notice what is going on. Often some form of self-berating or internal pushing to get somewhere is happening.
- Stop doing the opposite of self-love…. Pause, breath, drink tea slowly, go for a walk, hug a tree, read an uplifting poem, break the state of thinking and feeling that leads to the opposite of self-love. Speaking or writing out any self-attacking thoughts and feelings can help neutralise them. Interrupt any habitual thinking/doing patterns that block your ability to stay present.
- Embrace what you need right now…. Tune into what you need to shift back into self-love. What do you really need? Maybe you need to speak with a friend, maybe spend more time alone in nature. Make sure you are taking care of your physical and emotional needs. Get clear and act on it. Find different innovative ways to get all your needs met.
- You are human, you will make mistakes… Stop setting yourself up and give yourself a break. Stop demanding absolute perfection. Personal growth involves getting it wrong from time to time. Start getting honest about your limits (yes, I know we are all limitless beings of light but from a practical perspective this makes no sense). Be responsible for the reality you are creating. Learn from your mistakes and do it differently next time. Apologise where necessary. Forgive yourself.
- Just do something different…. Stop wasting your precious time. Use feedback (instead of blame) to adjust what you are doing. Set healthy limits/boundaries around your time. Say no more often. Allow certain people/situations to leave your life and allow new people/situations to enter your life, ones that support your happiness and success. Make doing something different a daily practise.
- Meditate now…Start a meditation practise. This can be quite simple. There are many great meditation practises that involve being aware of the breath. Work with creative visualisation to neutralise negative images/stories/videos in t=your mental space. This will help you shift up the vibrational scale where love becomes a greater daily possibility for you.
- All of the above plus a daily dose of appreciation.… Be aware, pause, tune in, (tune somethings out), know your needs, state them, make them important, forgive yourself, make some adjustments in your life, meditate, open to light, and enjoy doing all of the above. Then add a few extra ingredients of your choice. I suggest a daily pinch of appreciation – appreciate your efforts, your journey, your life and your contribution however big or small. If you cannot think of one thing to appreciate yourself for then decide on one step that if you took it you would definitely appreciate yourself. This can be an act of random kindness such as smiling at a stranger, or giving someone an anonymous gift. Then do it! When you have got up to speed with appreciating yourself then start to appreciate others. Voila!
Steve Ahneal Nobel is an author (5 published books) coach, and soul matrix healer. He was a director of the not for profit organisation, Alternatives (based in St. James’s Church, Piccadilly, London W1) for 13 years. He is a devoted father/grandfather.