(Published November 2014 by Findhorn Press)
In 2010 a major transition kicked off in my life and three major things happened as a result. First my relationship of 12 happy years ended painfully. Secondly we sold the home that we loved. Thirdly I resigned from a career of 13 successful years directing a not-for-profit company. Relationship-home-career all going at the same time was the start of a huge journey for me. But this was not all.
More challenging was my inner journey. The trigger for the transition was a Kundalini experience that happened during a Tantra Meditation. The energy waves surged through me for some months at an intense rate before gradually lessening over the following 4-5 years.
This led me into a very difficult ‘dark night of the soul’ experience which was beyond depression (I had suffered from depression in my 20’s) and more a complete sense of loss, meaninglessness and at times intense fear and panic. I was unable to meditate or even sit easily in silence even though I was an experienced meditator and shamanic journeyer for many years. Whenever I tried I felt dark and hellish visions swarm over my consciousness. My intuition, which was quite highly attuned over many years of spiritual practise and meditation, was no longer functioning. My connection to my Higher Self was blown. I felt adrift in a great black sea,
So I was in serious trouble. Nothing was working anymore. My inner life felt torn apart and my outer life was in free-fall. I had trained in a number of healing modalities over the previous 20 years and when this transition hit none of those tools helped. I saw 18 healers and only one had any real idea of what was going on for me. During this ‘dark night’ episode there was 10 days in which I was blowing up electrical devices and crystals all around me. This was difficult to explain and when I tried I was mostly met with incredulity.
I began writing more as a journal than a serious book project. To be honest I never thought the dark night would end and I felt my life would somehow end quite soon. The process felt like I was dying. Eventually it became a book project more to hold my life together and give me a sense of meaning or purpose than any real need to publish another book. I did, however, want to write my story down and leave it to my family.
During the writing process, which slowly came to dominate these challenging years, I had the idea to find and connect with other people going through a transiiton process. This was not difficult as I discovered so many people were/are going through this life changing/spiritual awakening process. I discovered that there are three basic paths of transition. These three paths or contexts hold a vast diversity of life experiences. All three transition paths have a certain structure. Yes there is a beginning and an end and in-between there are other known stages.
Transition increasingly is including a spiritual dimension to the process. More and more people are waking up to a new level of consciousness. This does not happen by chance or luck. It happens very much like the caterpillar entering the void of the cocoon and after a process it leaves as a magnificent butterfly. Transition is a hero’s journey. Because we have free will we can refuse the journey. Yet refusing the journey has consequences and is effectively a choice for stagnation and staying asleep. A transition ends one phase of life and points us in the direction of another. Awakening and growth can happen by following an impulse for adventure or it can come through a time of great uncertainty, chaos, and crisis. Either way we will grow.
The good news, for me at least, is I survived the journey and lived to tell the tale. On the other side of this huge transition nothing looks or feels the same anymore. I feel I have been reborn or rebooted, something like that. I have a renewed sense of vitality and purpose and i know what I am here to do.
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Nowadays, I believe, more people are being pulled into a personal transition process because the world itself is waking up and shifting consciousness up the frequency scale. The world is going through a major transition.
We are passing through the final stages of Kali-Yuga and when enough people wake up and imagine a different world then we will witness a new era of connection, compassion and community on the earth.