I believe my explorations these past forty+ years has given me a certain perspective on spirituality and sexuality. Saying that please remember that I am offering my insights gained through personal experience, revelation which often comes through silence or meditation. Only accept what resonates at the core of your being.

I was brought up quite conventionally in a working class British family. Nothing very meaningful was discussed in my family and sexuality was a very definite taboo. I was married for 15 years (with two children), then separated and eventually divorced. I had five years of serial monogamy during which time I dived into Wicca and Tantra, both of which opened me up to a more feminine based spirituality. I met my second-long term partner, Ursula, at a pagan camp just outside Glastonbury in ’97. This was my first experience of a deep heart opening love. We stayed together for 12 years and in 2010 we parted. I have had a few adventures since that time and at the moment of writing I am happily single and focusing on my soul mission here in this earth-plane. .

Sex after Eden…

It seems to me that sexuality has been one of the most misunderstood and misused energies on this planet. Ever since patriarchy took root and began dominating our cultural myths and stories we have witnessed a great imbalance between the sexes. The story of Eve tempting Adam in the Garden of Eden is perhaps the that underpins of collective reality in the West. This story is all about our collective fall from grace into this 3D separation-fear-control Matrix. In this story, the feminine was to blame for our exit from Paradise. Steadily, as we have gone deeper into the polarity of 3D, feminine energies, such as love, tenderness, relating, nurturing, intuition, imagination and birthing have been seen as inferior to the more masculine qualities of reason, logic, focus, competition and action. This has happened in almost every culture across the planet. This inferior/superior way of thinking has effected sexual relationships ever since. Matriarchy, which dominated human cultures for thousands of years, was far less dangerous but in terms of our collective evolution not that much better. Where we are heading, I believe, is a balancing of power within our personal and collective psyche. This balancing within sexual relationships will lead to a new alchemy, one some have called the sacred marriage. This harmony of power has never happened within our collective memory. This is an inner marriage where the masculine and feminine energies learn to work together cooperatively rather than act like a divorced bickering couple. This cooperation is one of the aspects of the coming 5D paradigm on earth.

 

Sex and Frequency Control…

In the 3D Matrix, sexual energy has been harvested by low frequency beings that use human energy as food for their survival. Sexual energy is incredibly powerful and it can lift us to incredible heights or impact us in many nightmarish ways. Porn and sex addiction are signs that our energy fields are being hooked into by lower frequency beings. Perhaps these beings have been involved with your bloodline for some time. Then sex addiction or sexual problems will have affected your parents or ancestors. Some Starseeds and Lightworkers have a mission to break such involvement which means being affected by it before learning to clear out all interference. Lower frequency beings hook into the nervous system and etheric/chakra system in order to syphon off sexual energy. The first step in dealing with this is to realise that you are being ‘harvested’. The next step is stop looking at material that triggers your emotions and energy fields. You will also need to find ways to clear any hooks or cords or psychic contracts in your energy fields that perpetuate this situation. (Soul Matrix Healing is one method that can assist with this). Where there is frequency control there is sexual excitement in the lower chakras and little opening or movement in the upper ones. Love is never present with frequency control. There is often a feeling of obsession with the object of sexual desire. Then we cannot see the true light of another, we are only drawn to their physical body. We have obsessive thoughts about having sex. Obsessive thoughts can also indicate lower frequency interference.

 

Sex and Ascension…

In the 3D Matrix, our masculine and feminine energies have been split and set at war with each other. There other splits that occurred under patriarchy that are coming up for healing in this time of global transition. For instance, various religions have long promoted the notion that the body is inferior to the superior soul. In Christianity, there is the term ‘the sins of the flesh’ and the thinking goes if we punish and hurt the body then somehow, we become more available for spiritual light and revelation. All religions have long sought to control sexual energy and in particular female sexuality. In times gone by celibacy was the body denying path that was the only way thought to lead to spiritual reward. In a body embracing path celibacy is still an option but not the only one. Embracing and enjoying sexual energy is an equally valid and rewarding path. Tantra is an umbrella term for many paths that seeks to unite heart, mind, sex and soul. Within such traditions sexual energy is honoured is a potent force for awakening. When we learn to honour this energy, we can raise it up through the entire chakra system as we make love. Here orgasm is not the goal rather it is divine union. The Goddess is returning and what this means is in emerging 5D timeline we are healing all the splits and schisms inside of us.

 

Sex and Ego…

In a world that values doing above being, money above the environment and human communities, the personal ego reigns supreme. At a collective level, it seems that in this 3D Matrix we have been led by beings who are at best disconnected from their heart and soul and at worst completely insane. At a personal level, the ego is a defence mechanism that helps us cope with the world. The personal ego comes in different forms and some of these can be very prudish, reserved, shy, critical or alternatively too open, daring, rebellious or promiscuous. In the 3D Matrix we need an ego to cope. When the ego takes over it feels that we have no control over our sex drive. We may fear our primal urges and seek to repress our sexual energy. On the other hand we may be a hedonist and channel it in an unconscious way. This is a big problem across the planet. Someone living their life through the perspective of a wounded ego may feel that getting their sexual needs met at the expense of another is OK. There are a great number of different kinds of ego games and dynamics that can create great disconnection both internally and with another. When the ego is in charge of repressing or wildly expressing sexual energy then suffering usually follows in one shape or another. Any spiritual path worth its salt will help you to transform your ego from a fearful fortress into a strong temple of light, one that can hold and channel more of your authentic being.

 

Sex and Language…

You can understand a person’s consciousness and programming around sex by listening to the kind of language they typically use around men, women, the body, love, sexual attraction and relationships. Language is the way we define reality. Western culture has some very shame-based terms for describing love making and the body. This is not the case in older and much wiser cultures. It was in my early 30’s when I discovered the world and language of Tantra. For instance the Sanskrit word for vagina is yoni which means source or origin. Some Tantra teachers say the yoni means the sacred source, sacred flower or secret garden. The term comes from a culture/religion that honors women as the embodiment of divine female energy. Yoni has many translations that point to the generative power of the Shakti energy. The Sanskrit word for penis is lingham which points to the generative power of the God Shiva. In the Tantra tradition, I trained in the lingham was described as a pillar of light. The subject of language is a vast one and of course I am merely scratching the surface here. A final example here of language and sexuality comes from a conversation I had several months ago with a young woman who talked about having relationships with men and woman. I said, “So you are bisexual” and she very beautifully replied, “No I am gender fluid”. This made me smile and was a great lesson in me updating my use of language.

 

Sex and the Shadow…

We all have an ego, which helps us cope in the 3D Matrix. As the Matrix shifts into 4D and 5D so too our ego needs to shift. One aspect of this is the shadow which is the ego in the shadows so to speak. These are also energies and behaviours we do not like or identify with, and thus they are disowned and keep at bay in our consciousness. These are the traits we feel are unattractive, unsafe, or too much. We can disown primal energies such as anger or sexuality or other essential energies such as our creativity or joy.

When this happens, we tend to experience reflections of these in our reality. Seeing these reflections leads to intense repulsion or attraction. For instance, a responsible rational man who has disowned his emotions is suddenly attracted to a highly emotional creative woman. He is attracted to what he has disowned in himself. This initial attraction can lead later repulsion as he goes deeper into the relationship. The woman in this scenario may be attracted to the man’s rational thinking, which is very different from her own. She may also be attracted to other qualities such as his groundedness and sense of responsibility. As the relationship deepens she may consider him dull and a party pooper. Ake another example, a spiritual man who has embraced his feminine side meets a financially savvy business woman who feels very at home in the cut and thrust world of finance. Both see qualities in the other that they have disowned. There is an attraction followed by an aversion to these same qualities. If they manage to navigate this zone they have managed to stand in the intensity of the ‘mirror’ and have come to accept rather than reject their beloved reflection. This enables each to take the next step and accept these qualities within their own being. As you can see the Shadow is a major dynamic behind all sexual attraction.

 

Sex and Relationship…

In Taoist philosophy, there are two qualities of energy that interact. Yin – feminine and yang – masculine. These energies can also be defined in other ways but the important thing to note is that these energies are in a constant dance within an individual and in the universe, itself. These are the attracting forces that bring two people together. This can be a man-woman situation or two people of the same gender. The attraction is energetic and not only based on physical plumbing. A masculine woman and feminine man can be attracted to one another. The same attraction can happen visa-versa. This dance of opposite attracting energies must be there for two people to feel pulled towards each other. A masculine man with a weak yang charge cannot attract a feminine woman with a strong yin charge. He can only attract a woman with a weak yin charge. However, a yin man can learn to enhance his yang energy. He can also learn ways to increase his yin energy. The same is true for a feminine woman. When we feel a harmonious flow inside between yang and yin energies, where both compliment the other then we can attract the same in a partner. You have probably heard people refer to their partner as their other half. There can be much truth in such statements.

With intimacy, there is a certain dance that typically happens. Ideally, first of all, there is the dance of connection, to check whether you really like or can relate to the other in a meaningful way. This phase can include initial feelings of like or dislike that may change after a few dates. This phase is the prelude to engaging in deeper relationship and eventual physical intimacy. In this zone some choose with their head rather than with their heart. This causes problems further down the line. When the heart says yes there is the honeymoon phase. Some jump straight too quickly into this phase and do not spend long enough in the previous phase. In the honeymoon phase, you cannot wait to see your beloved again and again. You check your phone for messages and you long to embrace your new lover. Once sexual connection has been made the experience can make your dopamine levels soar and the resulting feeling of elation can make the whole world seem much brighter and happier. It is wise not to make any long-term plans during this phase. When this ends the inner critic starts to get involved and the magic of love begins to dissipate. We see our partner with new eyes. Often this is where many relationships end. Only those that have a strong heart/soul bond endure. During this time, it is important to connect to what is going on inside and be honest with yourself. Writing in your journal, or speaking with a trusted friend can help. This phase is important and if navigated wisely can lead to a deepening and a re-ignition of love.

Relationships are not for life as they once were. Now we may meet someone for a season, a few years or a lifetime. In times gone past it was easier to stay with the same person because of the intensity of societal pressure and also because the energies on the planet were not changing at the rate they are in this time frame. You may meet someone have a great connection and outgrow each other much quicker than in your parents or grandparents’ day. Now we are on a fast track of spiritual growth. If you are growing at a faster rate than your partner there will come a time when the frequencies between you will no longer mesh. Sometimes your paths run for a time and then the soul begins to pull you in a different direction. This is what happened between me and my second-long term relationship. Love was still there but something else was pulling us apart. When the soul calls then relationships can be disrupted if the other is no longer on your same trajectory. It is important to note that staying together for convenience or to avoid pain is not a good long-term strategy. If a relationship ends then releasing sexual energy cords or any conscious or unconscious vows/agreements is important aspect of moving on. Where there has been any ritual of binding, such as a marriage ritual and vow, then often it is useful to do an unbinding ritual and creating a new vow. Whatever the circumstances, as far as possible (after processing any grief or anger) stay as neutral (and as loving) as possible to the other person.

 

Sex and Love…

The highest frequency of sexuality interaction comes with love. When love is missing love-making is reduced to mere fiddling with the physical nobs and buttons.  When our sexual energy is locked into the genital area then this will lead to great sexual frustration and a desire for instant gratification or release. Needless to say, this does not help to deepen sexual intimacy with another. There are ancient Taoist and Tantra exercises that help to raise and expand this flow and to bring it into a harmonious dance with a sexual partner. These are not secret practises, anyone who can use Google or YouTube can find them.When love is present then the whole experience shifts into a higher octave. This is like shifting from eating a cheeseburger and chips at a MacDonald’s to dining in the finest of restaurants. Love is the alchemical ingredient that puts the ‘negative’ ego to sleep. Love is the antidote to a highly critical-judgemental mind. When two souls feel a deep love in some instances this can come from other lifetimes which adds an extra magical dimension to the experience. Now we enter into the zone of soul-mates and twin-flames. These are spiritual terms rather than romantic. In this time of ascension, we have the potential to meet many spiritual partners or soul-mates. An alchemical view of twin flames is that this is the force that emerges when the ego and Higher Self fall in love with one another. Sexual energy shared between two loving partners is a very potent force of magical co-creation. Working consciously to bring together the orgasmic energy of each person can create a great wave of light on the inner planes. This energy can be harnessed and focused that can vastly amplify our manifesting potential on the earth plane. This is something that should be entered into with the purest of intentions.

 

Sex and Conception…

One of the greatest sources of suffering on the planet right now is the misuse of sexual energy especially when a child is conceived unconsciously. Apart from very practical reasons of having parents who do not feel a strong bond with each other this is a also a problem because the state of vibration of the parents is an important factor in calling down a soul to incarnate. When the lovers are vibrating with love this is a great blessing for the incoming soul. When this is not the case and physical attraction is the only energy binding the couple together then the womb is not a place of love. Worst still if the lovers are under the influence of alcohol or recreational drugs which potentially opens the doors for lower astral energies to get involved. In the coming future, I believe, we are opening as a species to becoming more conscious about our use of sexual energy in procreation. In the future, I believe, we will start to explore working with sacred ritual and orgasmic energy to consciously invite in the new children. This will allow very high vibrational souls to more easily incarnate here. I also believe that it is possible to refuse an incoming soul if the circumstances are not ideal. When this practise is mastered then we will no longer need artificial contraceptive methods. This is something I have practised for many years. At its most basic level it involves a conversation between the two people to get clear on whether or not a child is desired at that time. If both give a clear yes or a clear no all well and good. The intention is clear. If one is a yes and the other is a no then you are on less stable ground. This happened to me in my second long-term relationship and it became clear that a soul wanted to incarnate. (We began dreaming of a new born child and some friends did also). This led to some urgent conversations and initially there was a yes and no scenario. This eventually changed and we began meditating to connect with the soul that desired incarnation. We managed to communicate that we did not desire this, the soul left and the dreams ended. This is a practical, energetic and spiritual practise and goes beyond the scope of this article to talk about in greater detail. Hopefully the idea itself will cause you to explore this concept for yourself.

 

Embracing Sacred Sex…

Forms of relating are more fluid now. Couples are experimenting all forms of relationships from committed relationships, to polyamory to other forms of connecting. The more honest and transparent our relating, whatever that is, the better. Many on the fringes of society are exploring with new ways of sexual connection and being together. This form of relating is very different to the experimentation that went on in the 60’s. Now is the time for an equality of power, emotional intelligence and a greater sense of integrity and transparency which is not always easy. Tips for accessing a higher frequency in your love life: self-love is a good place to start, negate self criticism, affirmations can help, journal your innermost thoughts and desires. You and your partner are reflections of the Divine. If the reflection is not perfect then work still needs to be done. Just remember, never share your body with someone you cannot share your heart with. If you have any goals or expectations around orgasm then just know that dropping them will help  enter into a space where you can actually have more. Tell your partner what you love about them. Do this often. This tip alone will transform your love life.

To embrace sacred sex in your life, be open to try something new. Create an atmosphere in which sexual intimacy becomes a sacred act. Prepare your body by bathing. Engage the senses. Make love on fresh silky sheets, light some incense (Ylang Ylang is good to enhance sensuality), light candles, sprinkle rose petals, find some beautiful music to play.  When you climax practise drawing that energy up into the heart together. When you have mastered this practise drawing the energy up into the third eye. In order to manifest heaven on earth agree on a symbol before making love that represents something you both want to attract or manifest in your reality. When you climax in the heart or third eye just focus on that symbol together. Examples of symbols – how about a rose to attract love in so many forms. Friendship and work for instance. How about  a golden five pointed star, which can send out a powerful intention into the universe for success. Perhaps a symbol that represents going deeper into your intimate relationship.

 

Blessings, Steve Ahnael Nobel

 

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