Some of the ideas I am sharing here go against much of what is spoken about regarding Twin Flames.
I want to say upfront that I do believe and experience the concept of Soul Family as true. That individuals may feel a certain strong connection to others that goes beyond this one lifetime. I also believe and experience as true that some individuals may have a pre-incarnation agreement to meet and to relate and work together in some form. This agreement may relate to birthing star children or it may be some other form of service. Saying that I feel much that has been spoken about the Twin Flame connection is delusional and harmful.
But before we dive too deeply into this let us look at the general idea about Twin Flames. The general idea is that Twin Flames are the two halves of a soul found in two individuals. This is why there is such an intense connection that feels unearthly when these two halves meet. A characteristic of such a connection is that it is challenging and healing. Due to the mirroring nature of the Twin Flame connection there can be a deep and intense chemistry and love. This mirroring can also reflect each other’s deepest fears, and shadows.
Many years ago I attended a talk on Twin Flames, I think it was around 2008, and the essence of the talk was that 144,000 souls had agreed to meet their Twin Flame in this lifetime. When all meeting had been accomplished then this would be a major event in the birthing of the New Age of Aquarius. There were some processes that Twin Flames had to do with each other to complete the union. I cannot now remember all the details but at the time I was rather taken with the idea.
“If finding a soul mate is like finding “the one,” then discovering your twin flame is the discovery of “oneness.” A twin flame is the other half of your soul, so there is only one. You share the same consciousness. Your twin flame is frequently a romantic partner, though that is not necessarily the focus of the relationship………
Twin flames are true power couples. Their lives may be public—they may make change through their celebrity or by creating wide-reaching service organizations. Or they may quietly go about doing the essential work required for collective wellness, like being foster parents or taking an active role in a religious or civic organization. However they choose to work, twin flames are aligned in their mission and committed to something larger than themselves..” – Goop Website.
There is another aspect to this worth mentioning and this is the idea that we can meet a true Twin Flame as well as a false twin flame. A false Twin Flame is someone who can manufacture this mirroring and sense of deep connection. They do this by pretending to share your values and interests.
In researching for this piece I looked at the history of the Twin Flame idea. The origins may go back to ancient Sumeria and Ancient Greece, but really the recent popularity of the idea probably dates back to the 1970s and the work of Elizabeth Clare Prophet who was the leader of the Summit Lighthouse and The Church Universal and Triumphant. This work became more public with the publication of her book “Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Spiritual Dimension of Love and Relationships.”
On a personal note I felt I went through this journey myself, I met someone as a client in 2009, an American woman living in Ireland. In 2010 she arranged a workshop for me in Ireland and that was the beginning of something that would blossom many months later. I felt such an intense connection but did not say anything until she mentioned she felt it also later on. The intensity of the connection and chemistry was very strong for both of us. There were many signs that this was quite an unusual connection. I had a dream that we were married by angels is just one of the signs. It was strange because there was this intense pull and at the same time a sense of danger about the connection. I meditated and it seemed that I had no choice but to face the connection. There were soul gifts there that I had to look at. The honeymoon phase lasted a few months and I felt something deep inside my soul stir. Then she went back to Texas. We corresponded over Skype, text and email. Then in January 2012 I went to Texas and the relationship sparked up again. We visited a coffee shop while I was there and as I was waiting for the drinks I picked up what looked like a children’s book on the table I was sitting. I read it and was amazed that it seemed to exactly describe the Twin Flame journey. The journey ended rather dramatically a few months later.
I have written about this journey in my book Personal Transitions. Generally, the initial experience could be described as overwhelming, magnetic, and seemingly divinely orchestrated. It also led me into a dark night of the soul experience that lasted six years.
In 2016 I came out of the dark night and received a strong message from Spirit to begin this work of assisting Starseeds in their awakening and ascension. Since that time I have worked with hundreds of individuals, of which some felt they were on the Twin Flame journey. Over the past six years I have noticed a recurring pattern that is hard to ignore. Particularly since it reflects much of my own experience.
Much of the Twin Flame delusion revolves around the romantic side of the connection. The general pattern, though this is just a general pattern and not a universal truth, is that woman meets man, there is an intense chemistry and soul connection. There is a honeymoon period and then usually the man disappears, perhaps even enters into a relationship with another and the woman is left pining. Sometimes it works the other way around but mostly it plays out this way.
What I tell all of my clients is that the Twin Flame comes as catalyst, they make poor if not impossible marriage material. It must be remembered that the prime directive of the soul is growth, and the Twin Flame connection is not about your soul fulfilling any happy ever after fantasy. The planet is in transition and there is much to do. True service can only happen to the extent a Starseed has awakened to their true nature. This intense connection is there to wake Starseeds up, this is the agenda.
I have spoken with many clients who resist this. Even when the desired other has left and married someone else there is still the idea that they will return. The thinking goes, if only I heal enough, if only I clear enough then they will return. I also bought into this idea for a time. I had one recent client that dated someone for two weeks. Fifteen years later they are tormented with the thought, “But what if he is my Twin Flame?” This way of thinking can keep a Starseed stuck in self-blame. The thinking can go something like, “What if I am not awakened enough, light enough, healed enough, good enough for the connection.” There may even be a deep sense of failure about the outcome of the connection.
Now whatever this connection is, whether actually a Twin Flame or some karmic connection there is a general pattern to the meeting. They will come to touch you deeply, perhaps in a way no-one has connected with you before. They will reflect something about your multidimensional nature. The American woman I met was on a journey that reflected my current journey in some ways. At the time I did not have the courage to do what I am doing now. I would often look at her and admire her deep courage, her humour and the adventure she was on. This connection was revealing to me gifts and qualities I did not feel I possessed and also mirrored a life that I was truly afraid to live.
If you have bought into the great Twin Flame delusion there might be the thought that you are meant to be together throughout all eternity with this person. You may have the thought that it will come about when you are completely healed, whole and so on.
You will know you have been caught up in the great Twin Flame delusion if there is a sense of anxiety, or insecurity in the connection, if there is a pattern of push/pull where one side backs away as the other comes forward and visa-versa. There can be a pattern of blowing hot and cold. Perhaps there is the pattern of one side overpromising and underdelivering. At the beginning it seems that the love between you is unconditional, but you soon discover this is an illusion and the love between you is very conditional. You may feel in a sort of limbo with this person. Perhaps they play games with you and do not stick around when the going gets rough. This connection has no staying power. As already mentioned the most common pattern is that one side breaks off the connection suddenly leaving the other heartbroken and pining.
Sometimes there is just a friendship and nothing more but the same pattern runs with an intense desire for physical union. Perhaps there is not even a word spoken between you. Again the intense pining when they go away can occur.
There may be a number of practical factors in the way of the relationship going anywhere. Sexual orientation may not be right, I have heard from a couple of clients that they are waiting for their twin to realise their true sexual orientation. There may be family commitments that get in the way. In my own journey I considered living in the States but to be honest when I visited Houston, Texas I did not see myself living there. I also had two young granddaughters at the time and leaving them felt a wrench. This connection will bring out your deepest shadows, fears, and pain to the surface, and it often requires time to heal them. There may also be past life issues. In my own case I needed to clear some lifetimes that were not on this planet with this person.
When the physical connection breaks it can leave some in a spiral of addictive behaviour in order to cope with the grief. Such as drinking, smoking, drugs, porn, or addictive sex.
The Twin Flame can show up at an important crossroads in your spiritual journey. The opportunity is awakening. The danger is staying stuck for many years and avoiding the path your soul is seeking to ignite for you.
In conclusion, reality is meant to be a feedback system for your growth. I am amazed at how many in this journey choose to ignore reality and instead believe the fantasy of the connection.
Now it is quite possible and desirable to connect romantically with someone you have a soul connection with. This kind of relationship is one that can be joyful, and it can be one where you grow together. When challenges come there is the deep commitment from both parties to work through these. It will not have the great intensity, drama, and pain of a twin flame connection and that is a good thing because that connection can burn brightly but does not bring long-term commitment. My partner has said to me many times, “Thank God I am not your Twin Flame!”
If there is one thing you take away from this track let it be this. A Twin Flame comes as catalyst, they do not come to marry you to make everyone happy and magical in your life. If you have met a twin flame then you are on a powerful journey of healing and coming to wholeness.
I hope this track has given some food for thought. Much love.
Soundstripe – Light Within the Third Age (Instrumental)