Some of the ideas I am sharing here go against much of what is spoken about regarding Twin Flames.
I want to say upfront that I do believe and experience the concept of Soul Family as true. That individuals may feel a certain strong connection to others that goes beyond this one lifetime. I also believe and experience as true that some individuals may have a pre-incarnation agreement to meet and to relate and work together in some form. This agreement may relate to birthing star children or it may be some other form of service. Saying that I feel much that has been spoken about the Twin Flame connection is delusional and harmful.
But before we dive too deeply into this let us look at the general idea about Twin Flames. The general idea is that Twin Flames are the two halves of a soul found in two individuals. This is why there is such an intense connection that feels unearthly when these two halves meet. A characteristic of such a connection is that it is challenging and healing. Due to the mirroring nature of the Twin Flame connection there can be a deep and intense chemistry and love. This mirroring can also reflect each other’s deepest fears, and shadows.
Many years ago I attended a talk on Twin Flames, I think it was around 2008, and the essence of the talk was that 144,000 souls had agreed to meet their Twin Flame in this lifetime. When all meeting had been accomplished then this would be a major event in the birthing of the New Age of Aquarius. There were some processes that Twin Flames had to do with each other to complete the union. I cannot now remember all the details but at the time I was rather taken with the idea.
“If finding a soul mate is like finding “the one,” then discovering your twin flame is the discovery of “oneness.” A twin flame is the other half of your soul, so there is only one. You share the same consciousness. Your twin flame is frequently a romantic partner, though that is not necessarily the focus of the relationship………
Twin flames are true power couples. Their lives may be public—they may make change through their celebrity or by creating wide-reaching service organizations. Or they may quietly go about doing the essential work required for collective wellness, like being foster parents or taking an active role in a religious or civic organization. However they choose to work, twin flames are aligned in their mission and committed to something larger than themselves..” – Goop Website.
There is another aspect to this worth mentioning and this is the idea that we can meet a true Twin Flame as well as a false twin flame. A false Twin Flame is someone who can manufacture this mirroring and sense of deep connection. They do this by pretending to share your values and interests.
In researching for this piece I looked at the history of the Twin Flame idea. The origins may go back to ancient Sumeria and Ancient Greece, but really the recent popularity of the idea probably dates back to the 1970s and the work of Elizabeth Clare Prophet who was the leader of the Summit Lighthouse and The Church Universal and Triumphant. This work became more public with the publication of her book “Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Spiritual Dimension of Love and Relationships.”
On a personal note I felt I went through this journey myself, I met someone as a client in 2009, an American woman living in Ireland. In 2010 she arranged a workshop for me in Ireland and that was the beginning of something that would blossom many months later. I felt such an intense connection but did not say anything until she mentioned she felt it also later on. The intensity of the connection and chemistry was very strong for both of us. There were many signs that this was quite an unusual connection. I had a dream that we were married by angels is just one of the signs. It was strange because there was this intense pull and at the same time a sense of danger about the connection. I meditated and it seemed that I had no choice but to face the connection. There were soul gifts there that I had to look at. The honeymoon phase lasted a few months and I felt something deep inside my soul stir. Then she went back to Texas. We corresponded over Skype, text and email. Then in January 2012 I went to Texas and the relationship sparked up again. We visited a coffee shop while I was there and as I was waiting for the drinks I picked up what looked like a children’s book on the table I was sitting. I read it and was amazed that it seemed to exactly describe the Twin Flame journey. The journey ended rather dramatically a few months later.
I have written about this journey in my book Personal Transitions. Generally, the initial experience could be described as overwhelming, magnetic, and seemingly divinely orchestrated. It also led me into a dark night of the soul experience that lasted six years.
In 2016 I came out of the dark night and received a strong message from Spirit to begin this work of assisting Starseeds in their awakening and ascension. Since that time I have worked with hundreds of individuals, of which some felt they were on the Twin Flame journey. Over the past six years I have noticed a recurring pattern that is hard to ignore. Particularly since it reflects much of my own experience.
Much of the Twin Flame delusion revolves around the romantic side of the connection. The general pattern, though this is just a general pattern and not a universal truth, is that woman meets man, there is an intense chemistry and soul connection. There is a honeymoon period and then usually the man disappears, perhaps even enters into a relationship with another and the woman is left pining. Sometimes it works the other way around but mostly it plays out this way.
What I tell all of my clients is that the Twin Flame comes as catalyst, they make poor if not impossible marriage material. It must be remembered that the prime directive of the soul is growth, and the Twin Flame connection is not about your soul fulfilling any happy ever after fantasy. The planet is in transition and there is much to do. True service can only happen to the extent a Starseed has awakened to their true nature. This intense connection is there to wake Starseeds up, this is the agenda.
I have spoken with many clients who resist this. Even when the desired other has left and married someone else there is still the idea that they will return. The thinking goes, if only I heal enough, if only I clear enough then they will return. I also bought into this idea for a time. I had one recent client that dated someone for two weeks. Fifteen years later they are tormented with the thought, “But what if he is my Twin Flame?” This way of thinking can keep a Starseed stuck in self-blame. The thinking can go something like, “What if I am not awakened enough, light enough, healed enough, good enough for the connection.” There may even be a deep sense of failure about the outcome of the connection.
Now whatever this connection is, whether actually a Twin Flame or some karmic connection there is a general pattern to the meeting. They will come to touch you deeply, perhaps in a way no-one has connected with you before. They will reflect something about your multidimensional nature. The American woman I met was on a journey that reflected my current journey in some ways. At the time I did not have the courage to do what I am doing now. I would often look at her and admire her deep courage, her humour and the adventure she was on. This connection was revealing to me gifts and qualities I did not feel I possessed and also mirrored a life that I was truly afraid to live.
If you have bought into the great Twin Flame delusion there might be the thought that you are meant to be together throughout all eternity with this person. You may have the thought that it will come about when you are completely healed, whole and so on.
You will know you have been caught up in the great Twin Flame delusion if there is a sense of anxiety, or insecurity in the connection, if there is a pattern of push/pull where one side backs away as the other comes forward and visa-versa. There can be a pattern of blowing hot and cold. Perhaps there is the pattern of one side overpromising and underdelivering. At the beginning it seems that the love between you is unconditional, but you soon discover this is an illusion and the love between you is very conditional. You may feel in a sort of limbo with this person. Perhaps they play games with you and do not stick around when the going gets rough. This connection has no staying power. As already mentioned the most common pattern is that one side breaks off the connection suddenly leaving the other heartbroken and pining.
Sometimes there is just a friendship and nothing more but the same pattern runs with an intense desire for physical union. Perhaps there is not even a word spoken between you. Again the intense pining when they go away can occur.
There may be a number of practical factors in the way of the relationship going anywhere. Sexual orientation may not be right, I have heard from a couple of clients that they are waiting for their twin to realise their true sexual orientation. There may be family commitments that get in the way. In my own journey I considered living in the States but to be honest when I visited Houston, Texas I did not see myself living there. I also had two young granddaughters at the time and leaving them felt a wrench. This connection will bring out your deepest shadows, fears, and pain to the surface, and it often requires time to heal them. There may also be past life issues. In my own case I needed to clear some lifetimes that were not on this planet with this person.
When the physical connection breaks it can leave some in a spiral of addictive behaviour in order to cope with the grief. Such as drinking, smoking, drugs, porn, or addictive sex.
The Twin Flame can show up at an important crossroads in your spiritual journey. The opportunity is awakening. The danger is staying stuck for many years and avoiding the path your soul is seeking to ignite for you.
In conclusion, reality is meant to be a feedback system for your growth. I am amazed at how many in this journey choose to ignore reality and instead believe the fantasy of the connection.
Now it is quite possible and desirable to connect romantically with someone you have a soul connection with. This kind of relationship is one that can be joyful, and it can be one where you grow together. When challenges come there is the deep commitment from both parties to work through these. It will not have the great intensity, drama, and pain of a twin flame connection and that is a good thing because that connection can burn brightly but does not bring long-term commitment. My partner has said to me many times, “Thank God I am not your Twin Flame!”
If there is one thing you take away from this track let it be this. A Twin Flame comes as catalyst, they do not come to marry you to make everyone happy and magical in your life. If you have met a twin flame then you are on a powerful journey of healing and coming to wholeness.
I hope this track has given some food for thought. Much love.
Music by
Soundstripe – Light Within the Third Age (Instrumental)
18 Responses
I knew this track would be controversial since the subject of TF holds so much emotional charged beliefs and stories. I do not ask you to agree with the ideas presented. But ask yourself, how attached are you to the whole TF drama being true? And if you do believe it to be true how do you know? Are you basing it solely on personal experience or is it based on the teachings of someone you follow? It is worth inquiring into the nature of this who TF drama. Anyway, if the TF journey resonate with you then I bless your journey. Sx
Hey Steve, I don’t have an opinion on TF I’ve ever voiced or asked anyone about before, I just responded why? I have no idea lol.
I later googled it to find out and yeah/nah whatever, still no idea or judgment so please delete my comment as it was just off the top of my head based on “nothing” to mean “nothing”. Hence I’m better not using words lol…..as always have a beauty filled day x
Dear Steve,
I have gone down that rabbit hole of the TF illusion and all I can say from this experience: it’s pure hell you’ll encounter there. If someone is eager to explore the dark side… well, may they have good protection! It’s a whole matrix interwoven into the worldly matrix of lack, greed, and all the lower vibrating choices and emotions of the survival instinct. This matrix plays with your limbic system and the reptilian brain-based autonomic nervous reactions. The TF narrative counteracts every positive evolutionary impulse of a clear and positive constructive, creative mind, and only in understanding and overcoming the manipulations of the TF Web you will grow and be exponentially stronger than before.
May the TF story be removed from this planet ASAP. Thank you.
100% agree! You said it so brilliantly that I have nothing to add. 🙂
Thanks Steve, ineed the TF concept is perhaps the most complex and painful of all in our paradigme, thanks for explaining, wish found you sooner, even though i know all comes in divine timing. i agree it can creat inmense suffering and missing opportunities of actually being happy, that is not how it should be from Divine Perspective. blessings
Hi Steve, this is a really powerful message and right on time for me.
Did you ever get a sense of closure with your twin flame experience?
I think that’s been the hardest thing for me. Just to reconcile that seriously extraordinary experience with my current reality.
Thank you!
My personal belief (from Source) is that there are 144 on this planet at this time that are seeking Twin Flames. Not in the respect you are speaking, this is ancient before time Wisdom as I am. The desire is stronger than all I have on earth right now, my financial security, my relationships, my life as established, it transcends all judgment in importance. It is not romantic whatsoever, although maybe it could be, this I do not know. If on introspection there is any doubt leave it out as always as this is not true. If it is true on introspection and meditation it is TRUTH. My twin flame in my opinion will contact me 100% will contact me in knowing and their knowing I will know in energy without words needing to be spoken as when they are activated in their Heart and accept this as truth, it will also activate my heart. And if this does ever occur it will be at great loss to both parties in their own personal ways (everything will need to be sacrificed for the other to bring the union, the union will change everything re life as they know it and it will bring True “Oneness” I know this to be Truth as on typing this my truth right now I have many rosellas and king parrots returning to my garden, right here right now. So I’m guessing the heart healing has already begun as these birds and my joy had left some time ago. So this being my knowing once my true “twin flame” contacts me with no illusion in their heart/mind/soul the process has already begun. There are many tricksters and tests we are challenged with, going down the wrong path for the sake of romantic delusion will always result in failure on many levels. Always failure! When you are ready to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and be true to yourself without judgment and preconceived ideas and can get out of your head. You will see your true twin flame, you have all the information already to know in your heart, which is or should be your only guidance, as the heart always stands in truth, your truth, your twin fame will be waiting, and once you contact her she will know exactly what is to come next. Yes the union is a true power union for humanity and for the planet. And the greatest level of source love and connection only granted to a few blessed enough to be able to see with an open heart. This is my prayer for you and also for me my friend. As always have a beauty filled day. PS and I only listed to less than 10 mins of the 18 min audio as what you are describing and your experience is not that of “Twin Flame” in my knowing from “Source”. It is experience of a broken heart attracting falsity for needing healing, and a temporary fix, as true heart healing can only come from within, and the subsequent suffering or “dark night of the soul” necessarily induced by the participant to clear and re-centre and to learn how not to make this mistake again when the truth arises, but to grab it with both hands and hold it dear as this is a “once in a lifetime opportunity” and will not be repeated.
Hi Katrina!!
Thanks so much for sharing what came through (etherically) as your initial thoughts as you listened to the audio.(I’m sorry, I know you expressed a desire to have your initial comment deleted- but honestly it sounded like and felt like you were communicating with us via automatic writing… is that something you do regularly or was this spontaneous !?) – I work in the akashic records to be of service to others helping with realignment to their divine soul blueprint – the plan their soul made as far as soul contracts, soul group of origin, # of spirit guides, when they came on your ‘spirit team’ & so so much more – I’m just curious if you are aware that’s what you were doing when you responded? – the automatic writing. I have experienced what the author described as the false TF, which you explained was a broken heart attracting falsity for needing healing. During that 13 year relationship I birthed a star child, and manifested an incurable chronic illness due to the toxicity of the relationship with the ‘false TF’ or falsity I attracted when I had a broken heart that needed healing. After a dramatic ending where I came close to losing my life, I went on to spiral into addictions and attract an even More toxic relationship and birthed another star child (there is 10 yrs between my children’s births and their birthdays aren’t the same but they include the exact same numbers, just in a different order, a very cool synchronicity- both of these children were catalysts for extreme growth and me entering deeper into my ascension journey and healing and have delivered messages and confirmation of things I was already sensing or ‘knowing’ but questioning due to societal programming and trauma cycles – etc) I also went on to heal myself(after the drs gave up on me and sent me home to die) from the supposed incurable degenerative chronic disease and pain I’d manifested soon after the first false TF relationship and birth of my 1st star child, the universe was telling me (figuratively) in big bright neon lights – that the relationship was no longer serving my highest good and to get the heck out of there – but – alas, I had made a vow and my dad had always repeated to me, when I was young, that loyalty and keeping your word is of the highest priority & I gave my power away to the person completely every day, and went above and beyond over and over in an effort to prove my worthiness of their love and loyalty to me, but it was never enough. (All self limiting beliefs I have now cleared from my subconscious mind during my self healing journey which was executed by use of following my Intuition and guidance from my higher self) and I also have now, over the last 4 years reconnected with my absolute best friend from highschool and 6 months after our reconnection, when I decided to take the relationship from friends to romantic partners living together, we both experienced exactly what you described above – the energetic feeling of the heart space opening. It was beautiful we were both feeling the energy shift and expand within our chests and we were crying and when I asked if he felt it too he said yes and then we were laughing And crying. I’ve not met anyone else who has had this experience or described it so up until reading your comment I wasn’t sure what to say or think about it. I have no concious physical experience to compare it to, I k ow without a doubt we are meant to spend the rest of this lifetime together- not that it will be easy, but I am loved, respected, and ‘known’ by my current partner in a way I haven’t felt since back when we were teens – but the timing wasn’t right for us back then and we had no contact for close to 15 years – during which time we were both learning growing and having our own children and experiencing our own versions of hell on earth haha – Altho I am grateful for the lessons and release the pain and trauma experienced during that time and embrace the growth and all I learned along the way. We were learning how to be the parents our counterparts children would need when we reunited. (This is something that took a straight 24 hours of conversation and tears and downloads and piecing together what each of us was experiencing at the same time during those 15 yrs we were apart – it was amind blowing and incredible and genuinely/brutally honest conversation where we shared and explained painful details straight down to what we were thinking and feeling during the experiences we had apart both good and ‘bad’ it was an emotional 24 hours followed by peace, purging of all kinds(tmi? Lol) and laughter at the ‘sick joke’ and beauty of this life that has been the absolute BEST Gift I ever have given myself(@a Soul level) and the acknowledgment of the fact that I’ve been a co creator of this tapestry and all its intricacies of joy and terror and love and light!and dark night of the soul and there aren’t human words sometimes to express what I’m attempting to ☀️
This was super long – I appreciate you and your response to this article, and I felt called to acknowledge that while now that you’ve had time to do research and your concious mind is involved – you may feel differently about the topic and how you initially responded to the article- but you really hit quite a few “nails on the head” and even mentioned the energetic heart space opening feeling – that I haven’t been able to find information about anywhere else or even see or hear anyone else bringing it up, maybe there is a name for it? I will have to consult the akashic records – for whatever reason I hadn’t thought to do that yet lol ask if there was a name for it so again I thank you!!! And appreciate you! Thank you so much Sending you love and light.
Also – I did want to comment that I did resonate with a lot of what the author shared, TF is not all rainbows and butterflies Lmbo – TF is a catalyst to wake you up and ‘break the spell’ so to speak of going through the veil of forgetfulness and cause you to Crack and take you to your limits of resiliency to finally make a decision to take action despite your personal programming and self limiting beliefs and absence of self love at the time. TF is like an extremely difficult task that looks like it’ll be nice and easy breezy lol like a shampoo commercial and then $+÷/ gets REAL oh man. I’m incredibly grateful for it. And I got myself through it by reminding myself that everything happens for a reason, we may not like the reason but it ultimately leads to 10x the blessings(compared to all the suffering during the TF togetherness, thank you ♥
I met mine, in 1973, we got married in 1974 and were saying our goodbye for now on March 17, 2016, when my beloved made his transition. We are still connected through the veil and walking our journey together on either side of it. We had a lot of hick-ups and challenges, yet the undeniable deep love we have was always the key to working through them. Talking about the journey through the dark of the soul, we both went through it and it took us years as well a lot of hard work, to keep the love flowing and getting stronger over the years Grateful as well blessed with all we had been able to work through and how love thrived through his process of transition. This is my or I should say our personal journey.
in loving connection <3 still going strong
Steve as often has happened I feel there is much truth in what you say. I felt before that twin frames were here to be with us temporarily and I experienced one such relationship where I had 4 years with my partner before he died. I learned absolutely heaps about myself and had the darkest nights of the soul subsequently where growth for myself and my family was deeply painful, but necessary .
It also seems to me that the delusion that the one will rejoin with you is a dreadful trap to stop souls from growing and could in fact harm the progress of our beloved planet if we don’t in fact wake up.
So many awakenings!
So thank you for opening this conversation for us to dig and release!
Blessings all ways x
Whilst what you say is technically correct, I would call it “Twin Flame Illusion” not delusion! Reason being is that tens of thousands of people round the world have experienced a similar yet unique version in their life experience with another, usually activating a huge soul awakening within them, which could include the kundalini energy burning away all illusion of their ego identity and thereby leading to the the dark night of the soul. Whilst this is happening to the individual and I speak from personal experience, the bewildered self would look for reasons and the person that gazed into their eyes –( my so-called twin flame had the same eyes as me which was in itself very spooky) for this weird and other worldly experience. With it comes energetic sensations that seem you are in soul contact with you so called twin flame.
Now of course the mind will attribute a causal factor and a storyline about this, and will compel the experiencer pursue them and so the twin flame phenomenon becomes a thing that keeps to living in hope, because, believe me, the yearning for them is literally insane! It made me end a 30 year marriage and lifestyle that was very comfortable and seemingly fulfilling and productive! But I now have a powerful gift of quantum healing through intention, so much so I now have doctors as clients!
Now anyone who has been through this usually comes to a point where they are not delusional which is what this article is implying, but they realise it’s all about union within self, where the spirit, light of consciousness, meets the soul, the singularity point within them. It is now common knowledge in the twin flame community that your twin is you, but the aspect of you, that could not be an expression within you ego persona. Therefore the other aspect of you.
So rather than dismissing the whole experience as delusional, a more compassionate way of supporting and therefore accepting our sad, selves as a mistaken identity that in inevitable in this huge transition that certain individuals need to make in service to humanity, to change out of duality into unity consciousness, where everything is sacred, loved and welcomed to be!
This is the work—surrendering to the connection instead of holding onto it and fantasies about where it will go. I am in deep, deep love with my TF (a label that I find helpful in highlighting the soul resonance with this man). My love for him is truly unconditional—which means I love and accept him even if he chooses to avoid the connection. When I think of him or feel into his energy, it’s with such gratitude! I’m so glad he exists, he’s so infinitely beautiful to me. At the same time, I know what I deserve in relationship and if he cannot offer it then I know the Divine will bring another soul contract into my life. It’s a wondrous thing to be so in love and ignited by someone. It’s even more wondrous to take the leap of faith into the Divine’s arms and know I’ll be taken care of. <3 So much love to everyone on their journey!
I think you described your story with a false twin flame. My personal idea is that a soul meets his real twin flame only after the dark night, or a big “inside spiritual work”. Both of souls have to be in a high frequency to meet each other. The connection is pure light and love. The unconditional love opens your heart chakra and you love the entire world. It’s a total state of grace. I think this kind of couples have to be together to uplift the human consciousness with their example. The have to ground on the earth higher love and partnership codes. They have a mission to complete together.
When they meet they have to go through “stages”… or separation. Normally they have big differences (age, culture, language, religion). They have to breakthrough the “norms and conventions” of the society. But their deep connection won’t let them feeling the sense of “delusion”. They suffer (and a lot) but they will remain in a “positive mood”. The connection to the higher self is already strong and though down moments, they won’t loose the faith (in God, in life, in something bigger).
While everyone’s TF journey is different, I certainly agree with this blog. I was on this journey for way too long. I read everything available on TFs. I watched countless YouTube videos on how to clear myself and clear the energy between me and my TF so we could move toward reunion. I even thought about paying for programs to help me on this journey (which I’m so glad I never did). I heard all the b.s. about being here to breakthrough norms and show the world what unconditional love really is, as if I didn’t know that already. I went to therapy, did energy work to clear myself, ended toxic relationships of all types, healed deep trauma, and it still was not enough. The message I received after he married someone else was that I didn’t do anything wrong, but it was taking too long. That cut like a knife and created a soul shock. I blamed myself for not healing or clearing enough, not putting in enough of an effort for him, not meditating enough, not matching his level of oneness with Spirit enough, just plain not being enough. I had a teacher who once said, “You’ll know if you’re with the right person if you can say, ‘I like how I feel about me when I’m with you.'” I have absolutely no doubt we experienced a TF connection. However, as I review our history, I realize I didn’t like how I felt about me on this journey. And, there were a few incidents that occurred that should have been my red flag warning that this was not going to be a life-long connection. This relationship was the catalyst for being loving and patient with myself, honoring my own personal journey, knowing my own self-worth, and stepping fully into my power.
Hi Steve,
Thank you for opening up such complicated, even controversial topics that can keep you a hostage for years or lives. I love the amount of experiences you bring in, which makes me reflect on the women that blocked my flow for one and in one case up to seven years. I can see now that the search for solution, keeping up the bond was bound to fail from the beginnings. It would have been helpful to have had an advice in this direction, like to not aim for the height of permanence, for marriage, that indeed later was blatently stolen, proved futile.
Your work has so much greatnes for us starseeds.
My “twin flame” connection was “telepathic” and “otherworldly” and extraordinarily abusive in the manipulative sense, and ultimately destroyed my emotional and physical well being. It is a dangerous and toxic mentality, and I bought into it as a full grown adult over 30.